12th March 18

Have you ever reached a point in your life where you feel like everything has just stagnated? Every single thing around you seems to have become still and void of any colour. All progression in your life has halted and you feel bored. Frozen in time. Over the last few months, I’ve began to feel as though this has been happening to me. Although I love my home comforts and am very much an introvert, I’ve always loved a little bit of spontaneity in my life. I don’t like being in one place too long. If I am, my feet start to tap and I find myself clock watching all too much, bored of everything around me. So, having a steady office job over the last year which has often offered me the same routine each day, has started to make me feel stuck in a mundane pattern. To combat this, I’ve decided to make a change. That change? I’m going to Australia for 10 weeks!


If I were to describe myself in two words, it would be anxious and persistent. You may hear these two personality traits and think that they clash, and you’d be right in believing so. These two qualities leave my mind constantly racing. Constantly over-thinking. My brain is often caught in a painfully irritating loop of ‘I NEED to do this thing to succeed’ and ‘BUT I’M TERRIFIED’. It’s often dependent on my mindset or the time of the year (or time of the month) which of these traits ends up influencing my decisions in life. Sometimes, my anxiety gets the better of me and no determination can make me push me to go through with whatever it is that’s been causing me stress. Other times, a little voice in my head screams orders at me, instructing me to ignore the anxiety and persist, persist, persist.


A few months ago, I decided that I needed to find a way to get myself out of the loop of work, blog, sleep, repeat, which I’ve been running around for the last year, and plan something big to look forward to. Something to push me out of my comfort zone, and force the little persistent voice in my head to take control of a new challenge. I’ve always wanted to go on a solo adventure, but it’s often seemed like a bit of a distant dream to me. Something that Instagram influencers with thousands of followers are only capable of doing, and more importantly, something that my parents would never get on board with. I spent a while researching around, deciding where I wanted to go, where was within my budget and when I’d be able to afford to go by. It started as just a daydream to distract me from routine – something which would never materialise – but with every click of a new article, my heart was becoming set on breaking free from the cage of office life.

And so, deciding to throw caution to the wind and ignore the worried questions of ‘so you’re going alone? alone, alone? As in, not even in a tour group? Not with your sister? Your boyfriend?’ from everyone and anyone, I decided to book my tickets. A few hours of surfing the web and it was done, three flights booked and five city stops planned. I’m going to Australia. Alone. For 10 weeks. It’s really happening!


Once the flights were booked, the persistent voice in my head which had been screaming ‘click the button! Book the flight! Don’t look back!’ suddenly whispered in a hushed tone ‘should we really have done that?’ But the deed was done, there was no turning back. And honestly, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified. I’m unbelievably excited to take on this adventure of a lifetime, but I know for sure that this is going to be the biggest test on my anxiety to date. Most of all though, I’m just proud of myself for doing it. I’m proud of myself for clicking that button. For booking the flight. For letting my persistent voice win and giving myself the ultimate gift of freedom, from anxiety and from routine.


And so I’m going to Australia. I’m finally going to have my own Eat, Pray, Love fantasy. I know it’s going to be hard to do alone, but I also know that I’m ready for it. And that I’m going to have the best 10 weeks of my life. I’m ready for a little bit (or a lot!) of change, and to start leaving some of my comfort behind. Sometimes you’ve got to push yourself a little further to discover who you really are, and I’m going to spend 10 weeks doing just that.